He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize