so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
