Pappa wants mamma naked
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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