is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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