worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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