She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
