You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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