I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
