So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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