I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
