she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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