he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
