someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize