When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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