Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
