What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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