"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
