after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
