I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize