Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she looked like the before picture.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
