and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You were trust falling into bushes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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