So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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