yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
