so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
