we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
