there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize