Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
