I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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