I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
