What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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