Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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