I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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