how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
