It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
