if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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