I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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