he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
