Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
only you would photoshop your dick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
