I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
