we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
