Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
