so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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