He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
