He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
