have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
