you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found your dick twin last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
