I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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