I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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