Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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