wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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