I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
