she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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