I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
