talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
