quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
