I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize